


I Will Wait

by heckalecki



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: 2doc - Freeform, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Rape, Rape Recovery, mentions of past rape, murdoc is nice, slightly OOC, this is personal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 17:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11948688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heckalecki/pseuds/heckalecki
Summary: There are parts of rape recovery no one talks about.A short fic set after Stuart is raped, from Murdoc's point of view.





	I Will Wait

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is suuuper personal so just be warned. Mentions of violent rape but not graphic and no rape in actual fic.

There are parts of rape recovery people fail to talk about. Murdoc was all too aware of these parts. He could recall the way 2D wouldn't leave their bed, not even to use the toilet. The way he'd woken up to the damp sheets his partner had soaked in his sleepless night. Murdoc would never shout, never hit or confront Stu over them. Instead he'd just lift his sleepy body into the rocking chair as he changed the bed. Putting him back into the space his body had practically become one with the mattress. 

No one talks about how rape victims can become aggressive and neurotic. Murdoc felt it only fair the way Dents treated him now, considering how he'd treated him for years. Murdoc remembers lying next to Stuart and trying to encourage him to shower, he was met with vicious and hurtful words from Stu. He'd even once said he didn't love Murdoc. These times were short lived and rare but hurt nonetheless. Murdoc just wanted back 'his Stu' but that bastard killed that part of 2D the night he attacked him. 

Stuart's attacker was never sentenced, never even taken seriously by the police. Stuart was too depressed to testify and the police said it was consensual. That word made Murdoc shiver. How can someone 'consensually' be beaten blue, need stitches and all sorts of blood tests for virus and stis, some of which came back positive. The judge said "his sort" consented to this. By "his sort" she wanted to say gay. A gay boy visits a gay club and meets another gay man, yeah he must have been asking for it.   
Part of Murdoc still blamed himself. He'd had an argument with Stuart that day which had led to Stu going clubbing alone that night. He was so vulnerable, Murdoc was still kicking himself for not seeing that. 

Stuart came back to him slowly. It started gradually, first with a tearful conversation at 3am. Murdoc didn't sleep anymore, neither of them did. Stu turned towards Murdoc and said four words that broke his heart; "it was my fault."   
The conversation was followed by hours of Murdoc convincing Stuart he wasn't to blame. Little soothing words and promises spilled from Murdocs mouth. Stuart hadn't argued back and Murdoc considered that a win. 

The two men still shared a bed but Murdoc had layed a pillow down the middle to not intimidate stu. After a couple of months Murdoc had woken to Stu throwing the pillow off of the bed and moving half a meter closer to him. The men didn't touch, Murdoc wouldn't dare do that to stu without a conversation. 

A month after the pillow incident and after a conversation that Murdoc feared was taking several steps back where stu told him "You can fuck someone, you know? You can meet someone at the club and have sex with her and I won't be upset. I'm hardly a boyfriend to you anymore." He whispered and fiddled with his fingers. Murdoc would've laughed if it wasn't heartbreaking. 

After Murdoc flat out refused to sleep with anyone else and told Stu he'd "wait 100 years if that's what it took" the men ended up on the sofa, a small improvement from the bed. Murdoc knew stu didn't like zombie films anymore, after that night gore didn't have the same appeal. Some stupid programme about cooking was on and both men acted interested to avoid conversation. Half an hour in Murdoc felt a hand slip into his and he looked at it with wide eyes before looking up at stu who was watching him with expectant eyes. Murdoc resisted the urge to hug him there and then, it wouldn't have been fair on stu. Instead he smiled genuinely, tears threatening to drop. 2D blushed and smiled bashfully before turning back to the TV. 

It took almost five months for the couple to hug. Murdoc was in the kitchen cooking with Russel when Stuart quietly came into the room. He came up behind Murdoc and announced himself with a cough. The green 'hard man' jumped adorably at the surprise and turned to look at stu, his expression instantly going soft and concerned.   
"Are you o-" he was cut off by an armful of Stuart. His long arms wrapped around Murdocs torso and his head nuzzled under his chin. Murdoc had a slightly delayed reaction mostly because he was so surprised. When he hugged back he was gentle as if he'd break the paper-light boy but also desperate and euphoric as he clung to his boyfriend. Russel sensed it was a sensitive moment and left the room soundlessly. Murdoc was sobbing. He knew stu was crying too from the little hiccups he made against Murdocs neck. Murdoc felt a surge of anger, that man, that bastard had taken this from them. He focused instead on stu who was starting to pull back from the hug, snotty nosed and tears eyed. 

Murdoc was subconsciously staring at 2Ds lips and Stuart could sense it,  
"Soon, I promise." He mumbled and smiled sadly. He hardly talked in a voice above a whisper now a days. Murdoc could wait for a kiss, he'd wait until the end of time if he had to.


End file.
